The night Kristi told me she was pregnant everything in my life changed and immediately the question what does it mean to be a dad and what am I expected to do came to mind. It started off with the initial thought but over the nine months of pregnancy slowly the process of living changed for me. Suddenly it was not about me, Kristi or anyone else everything was about this new little life growing in my wife waiting to join the world. Everything I thought I believed changed from my political views to the way I thought about working and why I was here on earth living mysef.
It is funny to look back on the time of the pregnancy the thoughts and feelings I had. It is hard for the father to really grasp the fact of a new life. It is not like Mommy who can feel baby moving and her body changing. The first real time I felt the emotions move me was when we went for the ultrasound and found out our baby was going to be a boy. I saw Oliver for the first time moving and a good profile of his little face. The feeling was almost overwhelming to say the word miracle really does not even come close. Once again I had a shift in the way I viewed life. I really had no idea what was about to come.
The day Oliver was born was literally the greatest days of my life. Seeing his little face and eyes looking back at me truly changed me forever. In that very moment I was no longer living for me, I was living for him. I had expectations, but holding him for the first time my heart melted and I never imagined I could love anyone so much. In those first moments I realized that everything I would do from that moment on would in one way or another affect his life. I knew that no matter what I had to make choices that are going to show him how to grow up and be a good man.
I think that my main goal in life is to be Oliver’s hero. I want him to look up to me and believe that I can do anything. I want to lead him by example and teach him through experience. I want him to fail so that he can get back up and try again. I want him to succeed so that he can feel the joys of accomplishment. I want him to earn everything he gets in life and take nothing for free. I will do what ever it takes to make sure he grows to have honor and pride.
Really I think that is my job, sure I go to work everyday to provide for my family. My job however is to raise Oliver to be a part of the world he has joined. My job is to teach him to be a boy, then a teenager and then a man. So in conclusion what does it mean to be a dad? It means the willingness to sacrifice what I want for what he needs and it means to not be afraid for a moment to show him that he is loved. Most of all it means to be there no matter what, to be a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold and someone to pick him up. I am the person who will hold the back of the bicycle seat and when the time is right I will be the person that lets him go.